Summer has been a breath of fresh air. It always is. Summer is a season made for me. I love the heat and the sunshine. I can’t get enough of it.
My heart, full of adventerous ambitions and non-stop activity has slowed this summer. I am usually packing in all the adventures I can and in a bit of a non-stop state. I still am in some ways … but now?
Now I am busy with my garden. Creating flower beds and busy filling my bird feeders. I have been taking long walks. Spending time with my kids and my guy doing … nothing and everything.
I am living in the country this summer and turns out, I love it. I love the spread out neighbors and the community that has created. I love walking around the acreage watching deer and woodpeckers. I can walk through the woods or go gather berries. Harvest veggies and herbs or soak up the sun on the patio. I can walk and walk and see no one. And I love that. At night I can see lightening bugs and a bright starry sky. I can walk our road and see cows, chickens, horses, sheep, goats … and sometimes neighbors out in their golf carts waving as they drive by.
Our land is full of dragonflies and lady bugs. Do you know they say about these? Lady bugs mark joy seeking and luck. Dragonflies are said to be our loved ones saying hello. And our land is full of them.
I sit in the yard often and think of my grandmas. I feel them with me here.
Here I have learned to be a mom of five boys. I have a way with kids and my guy often laughs at my interactions with our kids. Taking on a big family in one swoop was ambitions and somehow, came naturally to us both.
It is not always easy with five … but I have created chore charts and they have learned to work with me … the house is now cleaner and everyone contributes. We have created family nights and movie days and basketball shoot offs … and I still have loads of one on one time with my two boys too. I have a guy who surprises me with homemade lasagna and tractors and chickens and manages time with just me too.
For my birthday? He surprised me with a ruby and roses.
I was scared of change. Terrified of it. What if I made a move and it was the wrong one? What was best for my kids? What was the right thing?
That fear of making a change had me frozen. And in being frozen I realize I was living life in a limbo. I was on pause and just getting through the time … not living in it or soaking it up.
One of my besties reminded me recently that when I first left Tom, I had dreamed about moving out to SD. I wanted to live in the cottage at my grandmas and raise my boys in the small town … with a bit of a sense of country and the small town feel of it all. The small cottage filled my mind every day … as did the fields and space around it.
I could not see how to make that happen but the dream of it sustained me for quite sometime. And now I realize I have found that story here with my guy.
So now I spend my days planting poppies and playing with putting my touch on this place and it is a simple, but happy adventure.
Today I will play with my kids and check out some new trails with them. I will enjoy a picnic and maybe even a nap. Tonight to celebrate my birthday I will make bruschetta and pour a glass of red wine. Hopefully while enjoying a beautiful sunset over the bean fields.
Historically I get depressed on my birthday but today? I feel calm. Content. And at peace.
I hope as midsummer finds you … you are at peace too.
I know a bank where they wild thyme blows,
Where oxclips and the nodding violet grows quite over-
canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet white musk-
roses with elgantine,
There sleeps Titania
Sometime of the night,
Lull’d in these flowers with dances
and delight.
– A Midsummer Nights Dream, Shakespeare
The Addicted Housewife 